Blessed...even when we don't feel like it

The last few nights have been really tough. Landon had been sleeping through the night since he was about a month old - going to bed around 8 and waking up around 6. Monday night, his pattern suddenly changed, and we had an inconsolable baby on our hands. NOTHING was calming him down. His binky didn't make him happy. His diaper was clean. He wasn't hungry. He was just MAD and wanted us to know it. Eventually he calmed down and slept the rest of the night uneventfully.

Same thing Tuesday night, only worse - he would not go back to sleep on his own. After trying to get him back in his crib for more than an hour, I finally broke down and let him sleep with him...which meant Brian was relegated to the couch.

Landon's six month appointment was last night. Contrary to what we thought, he is not currently teething - or at least, from the doctor's perspective, his teeth aren't bothering him enough to warrant his night-time temper tantrums. He also doesn't have an ear infection. The final verdict was that he has a very slight cold - again, it's not bad enough that it should be keeping him up at night. The doc's fix? Tylenol before bed.

Well, we tried that - to no avail. Last night was worse than the previous two. Brian slept on the couch again, this time with the baby cuddled up by him. (I really really really don't want Landon to get in the habit of sleeping with us at night, so we have to nip this in the bud.)

So I woke up this morning mad. Mad at the baby for suddenly deciding it was too much to ask of him to continue to sleep through the night. Mad at myself for not knowing how to get him back to sleep in his own crib. Mad at myself for "giving in" and going in his room after he fussed and cried for 30 minutes. Mad at Brian for sleeping with the baby on the couch. Mad in general.

Then I remember a blog I came across recently. The family just lost their barely two-year-old son to cancer - cancer he'd been fighting his entire life. The little time they had with him was marked with tumors and doctors' appointments and chemo and radiation. (Their blog mentioned the fact that last spring - when the child was a year and a half old! - he'd already reached his LIFETIME limit on the heavy dose chemo. Can you imagine?)

So even though I'm tired and cranky, I'm thankful. Thankful that Landon is healthy and active and engaging and fun to be around. Thankful that he continues to develop ahead of schedule. Thankful that we still have the opportunity to look forward to the milestones to come - his first step, first day of school, first tooth (oh, wait, that already happened!), first everything.

We are blessed and I hope I never forget that. I'll take that lifetime of firsts...even if it means a few sleepless nights.